4 hours ago
We listened to this on the way to the studio at 7am on Friday. URGH. Not down with Los Angeles traffic.
Scheduling matching massages with one of my closest friends tomorrow. Fun, fun.
Fling (2007)
Chronicles an attractive young couple’s open relationship as it is stretched to the breaking point when they find themselves falling in love with other people. This sexy, energetic, and provocative romance explores such universal issues as honesty, jealousy, commitment, maturity, understanding and ultimately our capacity for love.
Truth be told, I wasn’t exactly sold after I read the back, either. Even with the promise of tons of sex. This movie surprised me, though. For one, the sex scenes were so tasteful. Viewers caught little glimpses; it wasn’t exactly soft porn like Cruel Intentions 2. Like the huge commercial success American Pie, it also pretends to be merely about sex but turns out to be more of a commentary on the state of relationships and the people in them these days.
I love directors who fuck with you and know it. I can’t believe John Stewart Muller could such an absurdly beautiful film in one or two months. The shot above is one that I remember loving (of course the fountain would turn on after they kiss). After throwing you into sex, Muller plays like this is going to be another sappy, romantic movie for a little bit, then finally gets into the meat of it. Another scene that stuck with me was the penultimate (or maybe it was the one before the penultimate) scene. I started thinkign about this movie when I was wracking my brain for graceful, failed relationships. Yeah, those beautiful disasters.
“Empty Still Warm”
(photo by Ralf Stelander)
This reminds me of that night in Granada.
via mmmagnate
Once, he told me
that when he was a kid whenever something really great happened that he wanted to “remember forever,” he would squeeze his eyes together and keep them shut for a minute. Just to be sure.
I catch myself doing this sometimes.
But most times, I write so that I can remember.
He cried everytime he let me in. Everytime he really let me in.
His eyes shined the night he told me he was beginning to fall in love with me. In a phonebooth near the drama wing at my high school.
When we started to consider breaking up to make it easier for both of us in the long run. We knew that the long distance was going to be hard, but we both held on, hoping that the love would be enough. But it’s never enough.
I just sent him this. I probably shouldn't have.
I couldn’t fall asleep tonight and one thing I was wrestling with was something you said to me, but I can’t for the life of me remember when. I think it was way before we broke up, probably on a couch in Dana. We were getting really upset and a little emotional about my graduating and the summer and our eventual break up (you, the ever realist). You were holding me and telling me that if we broke up, I would definitely fall in love again. That you had been in this situation before where it seems like you will never, ever fall in love again. But then you do.
I will always appreciate the things that I learned with you. Without knowing it, so much of our crazy, philosophical speeches sunk into my mind and pop up at the most random times.
I was getting so good at writing letters and not sending them. To him, to Luke (you can’t send facebook messages to heaven), my sisters, my parents. But it’s okay that he knows this.
We didn’t knowingly have break up sex. I think we had extremely emotional sex multiple times with months in between, with our impending break-up in mind. Sadly, our break up conversation started months before we were separated. It started while his dorm was a two-minute jog away from mine. In the very same room where we spent the spring, stolen away from others for hours. Ending in his tears, I closed my eyes to remember the moment.
On breaking up
There’s tenderness in a break up. Or there should be, at least. Some time where you both have the time to hash out the issues drove apart two people who used to love each other so strongly. Time to hug, cry, and curl up into each other one last time to prepare for how much time you’re about to spend apart. To really feel what it was like to be loved by this person who meant so much for so long, knowing that tomorrow will be the beginning of a fading memory. And it should end in a moment where both of you realize that there’s just no way that the two of you can be together anymore.
When people don’t get this moment, but instead end the relationship in
furious fights with lamps thrown at walls and doors slammed,
long, drawn out phone conversations that drag emotions through the dirt,
unreturned texts and calls hoping that they get the idea,
short post-its without explanation of the real problem,
or complete bullshit excuses,
they don’t get the closure, the explanation that they need, to understand how to stop loving the person that they used to love so fully. We think we’re pretty strong and we suffer in silence. But we need to tell people that it is a final thing, the decision is made and these are the reasons why. That once you had a good thing, but that time has passed. We never want to let go of the feeling of being loved in fear that we will never love again. But we have to tell them, or else they never know and we never admit it to ourselves.
And you both miss out on the mind-blowing break up sex.
Californication, Comings and Goings
- Charlie: Hey, how was the first part for you, Marce, hm? You never said.
- Marcy: Well, what do you want me to say, Charlie? The first part with you was great. It's the last part that ended in disaster.
- Charlie: Yeah, yeah. But it doesn't have to. You know, because we can keep going. We, we turn the last part into the middle part.
- Marcy: And what happens when we get to the next shitty part?
- Charlie: There doesn't have to be a shitty part.
- Marcy: Baby, there's always a shitty part with us.
1 day ago
He's not dead, he's gonna live. He's not dead, he's gonna live.
Operate - Peaches
